Friday, June 18, 2004
Perspective
Nickel Creek is already using the phrase "it's foreign on this side," as you know from reading my subheader above. But what the heck does that have to do with me? The chorus of the song changes as the song progresses, but the first chorus says, "It's foreign on this side, and I'll not leave my home again; there's no place to hide, and I'm nothing but scared." I feel like I could adopt those words as my own sometimes, e'en though the song is not actually talking about being in a strange country, but being in a strange state of mind. Yeah, I once said that I'd not leave my home again. Back in late 2002 when people would ask me what I was going to do back in Tennessee, I had a variety of answers. I told some that I would like to be a farmer. I told others that I'd like to be a mechanic. I told others that I'd like to learn how to fly planes and be a pilot. I guess I didn't think it mattered very much, because I was going back, and that was all that was important to me at the time. I was going home. Pretty soon I found out though, that yes, it did matter, and I had no clue. But that's another story, a story that I still don't think I know how to tell. I'm not going to declare to the world, as I did last time (mistakenly), that once I get back home I'll ne'er leave again; but looking ahead, thinking about two years, and considering my strange state of mind, I'm nothing but scared. The song ends with the chorus that says, "It's foreign on this side, but it feels like I'm home again; there's no place to hide, but I don't think I'm scared." Yeah, that's not me. I'll have to stick with the first one for now.
Tomorrow will make three weeks since I got here. The first week was spent in a whirlwind, the last two have been in the doldrums. How's my weather analogy working for you? It's interesting to see how perspective plays its role. The two visiting girls I took shopping last weekend had been here for just over a week, and were talking about missing their cell phones, american food, &c. When groups come down here, they talk about how much impact a week here has had in their lives, while weeks used to go by for me in which I wouldn't think about the things they find so touching or heart-breaking. I guess after so much time, things just lose their luster, and you get numb to the oddities. Like the "cannons" that blast from the churches here. I suppose they shoot these loud noises to celebrate the saints. This morning was the first time I actually thought about them, though I've been hearing them just about everyday. Maybe it's like asking someone who lives on the coast why he doesn't go to the beach everyday. It's not vacation for him, it's life. And it's life here for me, too. I go to the store and buy bread and milk. I go to the bank and wait in line. I talk with people on the phone who want to sell me stuff I don't want. The other day I argued with this one lady for 45 minutes about a bill I didn't think was right. I worked on my spanish with her a lot that afternoon.
My mundane life abroad... it will probably get more interesting this week when a friend from my first time here visits. I'm looking forward to that.
Tomorrow will make three weeks since I got here. The first week was spent in a whirlwind, the last two have been in the doldrums. How's my weather analogy working for you? It's interesting to see how perspective plays its role. The two visiting girls I took shopping last weekend had been here for just over a week, and were talking about missing their cell phones, american food, &c. When groups come down here, they talk about how much impact a week here has had in their lives, while weeks used to go by for me in which I wouldn't think about the things they find so touching or heart-breaking. I guess after so much time, things just lose their luster, and you get numb to the oddities. Like the "cannons" that blast from the churches here. I suppose they shoot these loud noises to celebrate the saints. This morning was the first time I actually thought about them, though I've been hearing them just about everyday. Maybe it's like asking someone who lives on the coast why he doesn't go to the beach everyday. It's not vacation for him, it's life. And it's life here for me, too. I go to the store and buy bread and milk. I go to the bank and wait in line. I talk with people on the phone who want to sell me stuff I don't want. The other day I argued with this one lady for 45 minutes about a bill I didn't think was right. I worked on my spanish with her a lot that afternoon.
My mundane life abroad... it will probably get more interesting this week when a friend from my first time here visits. I'm looking forward to that.
